All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my being single is dangerous.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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