did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
