The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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