Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize