wrigley field is MILF paradise
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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