Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize