Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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