it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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