Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
