that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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