Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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