I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
