Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
porn star boner night. come get it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
