I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
should my penis look like a turkey
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
