You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
