Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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