Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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