well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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