The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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