I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
