hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize