Where did you get a picture of my penis
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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