We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
