the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Holy sore nipples Batman
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm like, not good at living.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
