you guys were way drunker than both of me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
