There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
