I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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