There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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