Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
