For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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