Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
