She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
