I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
