i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
