Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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