god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
