Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
