I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
