yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
