Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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