So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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