All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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