just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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