eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
