dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
