She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
