Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
