He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
