there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
