It's Friday. Sex?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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