I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I need to stop coming to work sober
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
