It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
