She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
