i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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