Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
