I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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