did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
