the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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